Adverse Behavior Basics
We all have people in our lives who behave behaviors that don’t align with how we may want them to behave. We may categorize them as an adverse behavior.
Many times these behaviors will cause different levels of frustration to us. My personal definition of frustration is simply a “failed expectation”. Frustration can only occur if someone or something fails our expectation of how it is supposed to be. This may lead to friction which can cause relationships to be strained. It does not matter if it is a personal relationship, a business relationship, or one that is more generic.
When something does not go the way that we may want then we have only a few choices on how to act in those situations. The problem is that most people will make the wrong choice.
The Three Choices
Adverse behaviors can cause a lot of pain, sleepless nights, and can have more dramatic ramifications.
However, when we let adverse behaviors affect our moods then this is when problems may arise, especially with our own peace of mind.
There are only three choices we can make when something occurs. We will go into the details of each. We will start with the one that I would say over 90% of the people out there will take. And, this is by far the worst choice you can make.
Toleration of adverse behavior can and will cause a lot of pain and mischief, especially when it is from someone you care about or see on a regular basis.
Toleration will create tension at many levels. Left unchecked this can cause stress at many levels.
When you tolerate someone’s behavior you will begin to either blame that person or you will blame yourself. This frustration will lead to a lot of stress and this will continue to lead to more stress and sleepless nights.
However, there are two other solutions that will relieve most of this stress. These other two choices are dramatic but will give a lot better outcomes.
The next possibility is how to respond to adverse behavior is to accept it. This means exactly what I said.
When dealing with a person who is exhibiting these traits you can start to look at them as an attachment. Is this person someone you want in your life? This is a question you must really take a close look at.
Accepting their behavior as being a part of who they are is the most liberating thing you can do. It means you have come to terms with that person.
Acceptance of an adverse behavior means that you have removed any judgment with the person who exhibiting that behavior. This may not translate to other behavior, though.
Acceptance means that all energy has been removed. It may now be a little annoying but at least you have accepted it.
Instead of tolerating their adverse behavior, you can also simply reject it. This may be harder than you may think. Yet it can be very healing, especially in the short term.
Rejecting adverse behavior is exactly what I am saying here. It may mean cutting them completely out of your life. And, you keep them out of your life until their behavior changes or you decide you can accept it.
By rejecting their behavior means that you will heal in spite of that person. You will no longer allow their adverse behavior to continue to affect you.
This can be healing to you especially if you are taking a personal grievance to their behavior.
When someone exhibits some behavior you deem to be intolerable then you do have a choice in how you will allow this to affect you. You can either make a unhealthy choice and tolerate it. Or, you can make a healthy choice and either accept it or reject it.
That choice is yours.